We’ve had our fair share of teenage drama with Yzzabella, but we always made sure she felt supported and loved. She’s not perfect. None of us are, but raising her has been a journey of growth for me and Santiago. It’s been a learning experience, and we’re still learning every day.
Raising emotionally stable teenagers like Yzzabella requires patience, understanding, and a strong parental presence. The ages 13 to 19 mark a critical transition from childhood to adulthood, where teens experience rapid emotional, physical, and mental changes. During this time, they seek independence while still needing guidance, making parental support essential.
Why This Stage Matters
Adolescence is when self-identity forms, peer influence strengthens, and emotions often feel overwhelming. Without a stable foundation at home, teens may struggle with self-doubt, anxiety, or make impulsive choices. As parents, being a consistent emotional anchor helps them develop resilience and confidence.
Key Ways to Provide Emotional Support
Open and Judgment-Free Communication
Teens need to feel heard, not just corrected. Listen actively, ask open-ended questions, and resist the urge to immediately fix their problems. A safe space for conversation builds trust.
At first, I made a big mistake. As a mom, I was used to rescuing my kids. Just like when they were little and ran to me with an “owie.” But with teenagers, it’s different. I had to step back and let Yzzabella solve her own problems. That gave her confidence.
Validation of Feelings
Instead of dismissing emotions as “just a phase,” acknowledge their struggles. Saying, “I see this is important to you,” makes them feel valued.
I struggled with this because Yzzabella is just like me. We both keep our emotions to ourselves. We’re good at pretending we’re okay to protect our loved ones from how we really feel. We’re still working on being more open and better at this together.
Setting Boundaries with Love
Freedom with guidance is crucial. Setting clear but fair boundaries teaches responsibility while ensuring they feel trusted and not controlled.
Yzzabella struggled with peer pressure despite having a strong moral compass—she wanted to fit in. Through open communication and guidance from a therapist, she realized her friend was pushing her toward things she knew were wrong. The pressure caused her anxiety, which I noticed early on, so we sought professional help.
Leading by Example
Show emotional stability in your own reactions. How you handle stress, conflicts, and disappointments will shape how they manage their emotions.
Like most working parents, Santiago and I juggle full-time jobs, parenting an elementary schooler and a teenager, managing bills, errands, and endless activities. Our routine is nonstop. Some days, work stress overwhelms me, and I retreat after dinner to decompress. But Yzzabella and Esperanza always notice, even when I stay quiet. I’m not sure if my way of handling stress is healthy, but I see Yzzabella mirroring it, and that makes me reflect.
Encouraging Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Teach them to manage stress through hobbies, exercise, journaling, or talking things out instead of resorting to unhealthy escapes.
On weekends, we try to make time as a family to work out at the clubhouse. We don’t always make it, but we make sure Yzzabella sees how exercise helps with stress. We also have “lazy days,” making candles, playing board games, baking, trying new recipes, journaling, or binge-watching Gilmore Girls.
Being Available Without Being Overbearing
Sometimes, they just need your presence, not advice. Simple acts like watching a show together or sharing a meal can strengthen your bond.
One of the best things we do with Yzzabella and Esperanza is simply being together. Even when we’re each doing our own thing, we make sure Yzzabella knows—we’re here for you, and we support you. If you ever want to talk, we’re always ready to listen.
Reinforcing Their Self-Worth
Teenagers are bombarded with unrealistic standards from social media and peers. Remind them that their worth isn’t based on achievements or appearance but on who they are as individuals.
It’s funny—just before writing this post, Yzzabella showed me a video of a Filipina teen influencer and said people think she looks like her. Curious, I asked to see more videos of the influencer, but Yzzabella didn’t look like her at all. I told her, “You’re actually prettier, and no one should be compared to anyone else. We all have our unique qualities.” She responded, “But, Mom, she’s famous. I think she’s prettier, that’s why she’s famous.” I immediately hugged her and said, “Being pretty isn’t required to be famous. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You are beautiful to me, and you are worthy of all the love in the world, no matter how you look.”
The Role of Parents in Teenage Mental Health
Parental emotional support reduces the risk of anxiety, depression, and risky behaviors. When teens know they can turn to their parents without fear of judgment, they’re more likely to make better choices and develop emotional intelligence.
Being a steady, loving presence through their highs and lows lays the foundation for them to become emotionally stable, confident adults.
I love you, Ate Yzzabella! This one is for you!
MIXED KNOT 